Two years ago at my 20 week ultrasound, was the day we received the diagnosis that our baby boy would be born with spina bifida. I remember feeling an awful combination of numb and terrified. I cried and doubted my capabilities. It's typical for parents to go through a grieving stage after their child is diagnosed, I certainly did. Looking back, I can say that the grief I experienced was a necessary part of my own acceptance process. I think I'm able to love my son better and fully appreciate all the wonderful things about him in part because I allowed myself to go through that time of sorrow and fear.
It was hard to learn all of the complications that could happen with a child born with spina bifida. The doctors told us the hard cold facts, your kid is possibly going to have paralysis, clubfeet, loss of bladder and bowel control. It also can cause learning disabilities to mental retardation, and sometimes an enlarged or abnormal head size.
It definately became much easier once we met Oliver. Our doctors didn’t tell us that we were going to love our child unconditionally like our other children. That we will experience joy being his parents and having him as a part of our family. That he’d have a smile that light up a whole room, be a social butterfly, have an amazing belly laugh and that he’d be the happiest little boy around.
I find myself documenting his life and learning that he was born perfectly made, despite the imperfections we once feared. Most importantly, I realized I was still a mom — and my children needed me to be the best mother I could be. I feel so blessed to have been trusted to the care of Oliver. He has changed our life and made it better in so many ways that I can’t imagine my life without him.
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