Thank you!

I want to thank you for your prayers and fasting on our behalf. I think we started praying and fasting that the baby would be okay... now we are more fasting and praying that we will be ok with how the baby is, and to be the kind of parents that we need to be to help this baby reach its full potential in life. Its hard not to want a miracle where the baby comes out perfect... but I can feel now that its not the Lords will. I know that all of the prayer on our behalf has helped both me and kayla to be ok with whatever the Lord wants us to do. I dont think I would normally be this calm and collected on the subject. With the trust in the Lords plan. After many prayers and a blessing we we have been blessed with a huge sense of peace. We don’t know the outcome of this situation, but we fell that no matter what happened it will all be okay.

Paediatric Neurosurgeon Appointment

On wednesday Josh and I headed back up to Calgary for another day of specialist appointments. My mom was able to help with my day home and Lacey & Lincoln, which was nice. This time we were scheduled to see Dr. Jay. Ria-Cambrim who's the paediatric neurosurgeon, to see whats next for the baby and try to understand a little more of what is going on.

When your pregnant with a baby with Spina Bifida, they give you three opions.

1- There is a surgery that can be done in utero (in the womb) before 25 weeks. It's known as the M.O.M. surgery, which is in it's last phase of the trial. This surgery is only done in the states. It does not correct any of the nerves that have already been damaged, however it does prevent further damage as the surgery is done to put the spinal cord back in side. The mom is then given a lot of meds, to try to stop you from going into labour. In most cases the mom gives birth by 32 weeks.

2- The alternative is waiting for birth and they will do a surgery within 48 hours of birth.

3- To end the pregnancy.

Josh and I both knew option 3 was out of the question. I never thought I would have to make a hard decision like this as a parent. We were very overwhelmed with the decision we had to make. But apparently 87% of people that find out they have a baby with Spina Bifida end up choosing number 3. Sad world.

We look forward to our appointments with all the doctors so we can find out more information. But after our appointments there's also a huge overwhelming feeling with everything we have found out. It's always a lot to process. How do we know if we are making the right decision?

Here's some advice we got from our Stake President/ Family doctor: Get the info - make the decision based on how you feel after you got it. If you feel good about that decision trust that feeling. You'll only ever get to know one option though. Have to trust your feeling. D&C 6:23 "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?"

Understanding our trials

Got a phone call from our doctor today. Dr David Stewart who's our doctor but also our Stake president. He's an amazing man. He called to touch bases with us to see how all the appointments are going with the specialists in Calgary and how we were doing.

 He said, "Josh and I were truly inspired when we made the decision to not finish Josh’s schooling". Some may say we are crazy but we both haven’t regretted the decision we made. We just felt very strongly that we needed to focus more on our family. If we were in the states doing Josh’s schooling the news of our special little baby boy would be devastating, it would finically sink us, Josh would have to quit schooling unexpectedly, we’d have to move back home...  It now makes a lot more sense,  Josh has a job that he loves and can support the family, we were able to find a house that we can afford for our family, be on our own and close to family.  From the decision we made, it hasn’t taken our trails from us. But has helped us be set up the best we could be, for what was to come. 

Heavenly father had chosen this special little boy to come to our family. What the future has in store for us is unclear, but we know if we trust in God and have faith things will work out. Heavenly Father believes in us, so we just need to have faith and believe that we are strong enough to handle this trial.

School Pictures

I'm not a huge fan of school pictures, as you usually get stuck with that fake cheesy grin. So instead I just took a few pictures of Lincoln myself. I love how they turned out. I can't believe how big Lincoln has become. He's a great big brother for Lacey. Lincoln is still loving kindergarten and has the most amazing teacher.

Bike Park

We also check out the bike park in the coulees at Indian Battle Park. Lincoln and Lacey both love riding their bikes, so this was a big hit. They love trying something new. They thought riding their bikes on the jumps were pretty fun, they had a few crashes with tears but it didn't stop them from wanting to ride more.

Corn Maze

After a crazy week of doctor appointment in Calgary and trying to wrap our heads around everything. We decided we needed a much needed family day, so that's what we did.  It was a gorgeous fall day so we headed to the Lethbridge Corn Maze thats north west of Lethbridge near Park Lake. Lincoln loves doing mazes in his maze book, so we figured he'd love a real maze to run through. Plus it's Lincoln and Lacey's first Canadian fall since Lincoln was 2 1/5yrs and Lacey was 2 months old. So everything to do with fall like the leaves changing, pumpkins is practically new to them, which makes it so fun. They loved checking out all the pumpkins and the pumpkin patch to see where they are grown. They loved the maze! The petting zoo was also a big it and feeding all the farm animals. We had a great afternoon.

Calgary Ultrasound

Today we headed to the Foothills Calgary Hospital to have another ultrasound and to get more answers about our little one. We were hoping for the best. Our ultrasound appointment took a whole hour. After the ultrasound they took us into a room where you wait to talk to the radiologist doctor and paediatric doctor about the results of the ultrasound. Both doctors came in together to discuss the results. Our son was diagnosed with a serious birth defect called myelomeningocele, also known as Spina Bifida.

I had heard of Spina Bifida, but never really knew what it was. Josh on the other hand knew what myelomeningocele, from his two years of medical schooling. For those that don't know, Spina Bifida is where the spinal cord does not completely close up during the first month of the pregnancy. The amniotic fluid damages the nerves, causing paralysis, club feet, loss of bladder and bowel control. It also can cause learning disabilities to mental retardation, and sometimes a enlarged or abnormal head size. The doctors gave us as much info as he could at the time. 

With the ultrasound results the doctors also had concern that the baby wasn't opening it's hands open all the way which shows a increased risk for Trisomy 18. They have a test they can do called Amniocentesis which will give you the results back in 3 working day to know if our little one had it. So Josh and I both agree to have the procedure done.

During the procedure an ultrasound is used to determine the size of the baby, position of the placenta and the amniotic fluid volume around our baby. The doctor then inserts a needle though your abdomen. A small amount of amniotic fluid is removed and sent for chromosome tests and open neural tube defects. 

We then left the hospital with a whole bunch of mixed emotions of what we been told. Wondering: How can I raise a little boy that I may not ever be able to walk? Why would an innocent unborn child have to enter the world with physical or mental obstacles?  Should I sell our house since all of the bedrooms are on the second floor?