Weekly update: Continuing on with life...

It's been a hard week, but we made it through it. When difficult times come our way we have to figure out, how we want to continue on with life. I choose to make the best out of each situation that comes my way. Stay positve. Make the best out of what I have control of in my life. Be the mom I want my kids to remember. Try to be a great wife. 

While trying to recover physically, mentally and emotionally this week. I tried to just take it easy and rest so I could get over feeling tired and weak (from loosing so much blood). Which isn't really possible when you have a 2 and 4 year old that are very active and like to stay busy, which we are use  to doing. We took it easy week, watched lots of movie, while cuddling on the couch, built lego castle and towers, made crafts and we made sure that Lincoln made it to his friends two birthday parties. I made sure I was in bed each night by 9pm the latest so my body had time to recover. Lincoln and Lacey have really helped me this week by being helpful but also always making me smile and reminding me about how truly blessed I am. It's been hard not seeing Josh a lot this week as he's been trying to play catch up on his classes he missed. But I know if he could give us more of his time he would. Each day this week I slowly felt less tired, stronger and more at peace.

We sent the days watching movies and making crafts so I'd feel up to going out to the parties later in the day. Here's some of the crafts that we made.

Abigail is a friend from our preschool group and it was her 4th birthday this week. Abigail's Birthday party was a two night party. Wednesday we had fun at Twist N' Shake at the blue mall. Kids had a blast with all their friends and it was perfect as they were able to go play at the play centre while I was able to sit and watch them have fun... Then on Friday night they had a movie party at AUC, the other med university on the island. They set the movie 'Frozen' up in one of the lecture rooms on the big screen. They had treats from popcorn, juice, snow flake cookies to marshmallows, pretzels and M&M for Olaf's treats. Lincoln and Lacey really enjoyed their fun movie night with their friends. I'm so glad they have been blessed with amazing island friends while we have been here. When we got in the car after the movie night, Lincoln said " mom that was fun, can we do that again."

Thursday afternoon Halle had her 5th birthday party. She had a swimming party. Lincoln pretty much stayed in the pool for the whole 2 hours of the party, minus the pinyata part. I love seeing my kids have fun with their friends they have made here.

Here's a few other thing that kept the kids busy this week.

Lincoln loves being outside. The first thing Lincoln wants to do when he wakes up in the morning is go out side. Which is perfect as we can be out side at all times of the day with this Caribbean weather. He loves making pretend fires like we have at the beach. 

To playing with his cars in the dirt.

Lacey loves helping mom with the dishes. It's like a water table of fun.

Glad I have these two to keep me busy.

Happy Birthday Papa Stewart!

We'd like too wish Papa Stewart a 'Happy Birthday!!!' 

These picture above are of Papa Stewart and Lincoln geocaching here on St Maarten. Lincoln still talks about the adventures geocaching he had with Papa Stewart when he came to visit a year ago.  

Wish we were closer so we could celebrate with you. Hope you had a fantastic day. You hold a special spot in our hearts. Love you.

My Miscarriage Experience

Understanding why is always the most difficult thing for us to understand in the whole scheme of things. I felt like everything was going according to plan and that the Lord has blessed us with our 3rd child, I became devoted and comitted to this child the day I found out and even before. Then out of nowhere, everything changed, for what seemed to be the worst.

I found out on Friday September 26 that I had a miscarriage. I was 15 weeks pregnant. It didn't feel real. I still felt and looked pregnant. How could this be real? How could this be happening to me? (My pregnancy was going so well. They only that had been different from my first two is I had lite brown spotting at 8 weeks, which I guess is quit normal due to plantation, so I wasn't ever concerned about it.) But it was real and I needed to learn to deal with the truth. I knew I could make this a negative experience and be depressed or I could choose a good attitude and make the experience the best I could, even though it wasn't going to be easy.

So when you have miscarriage in your second trimester, they give you three options. One- let it pass on its own naturally. Two- take meds. to help things pass. Three- D&C..... I’ve been emailing my doctor from back home since the beginning of this experience. I'm so glad that I was able to be in contact with my doctor the whole time as it gave me reassurance when this was all happening. He said the baby has probably passed weeks ago due to its size so he said I should do option two as my body hasn’t passed it on its own already. So Monday night I started taking the drugs around 7pm. So glad I was able to get the same drug my doctor would have prescribed me back home. I went to bed at 10pm with mild period like cramps. I woke up at midnight with contraction like pain, I felt to uncomfortable to lay down so I walked around for a bit and took some pain meds. Then I went and sat on the toilet. (sorry for the details). As I have never known what really happens with miscarriages or what you really have to go through I google a lot about it. Any way to let it pass you have to sit on the toilet. By 2 am it progressed but I was bleeding a lot and was worried from my pass history about loosing too much blood and that the placenta wouldn't come out on its own. Made a call to my doctor back home and he said to go to the ER to be safe. So at 3am we woke the kids up and went to the ER. I was able to see a doctor within 15 mins and I was admitted. The OB-GYN I saw on Friday came in within an hour ( The OB GYN was a doctor from the states that comes to St marten every few months for a week. I'm so glad i got a good doctor that was highly recommended. He flew out the following morning. Blessing in discuss.) and said they were going to schedule me for a Emergency D&C to be on the safe side as he didn't want to me loose to much blood and to make sure everything passed. One thing that was different here at the hospital was Josh wasn't aloud to stay once I was admitted. That's what made the hospital stay so hard, not being able to have Josh by my side. So Josh took the kids home and they were able to fall back asleep with Josh till 7 am. Josh and the kids came by at 8am for a quick 5 min visit before my surgery as kids aren't aloud in the hospital. But the nurses let them in for a quick visit. Glad I got to see them before I went in. It was also nice having Josh watch the kids for the day so I didn't have to worry how they were doing. Josh kept them very busy with swimming and McDonalds lunch. Josh took the day off school. I was suppose to have surgery around 9:30 am but I never went in till 11 am. I was out of recovery by 12:30 and could of gone home then but Josh was just laying Lacey down for a nap so I told him to come at 3pm to pick me up. Surgery went well. I was ask happy to hear... Well we got home from the hospital yesterday at 4 after stopping by the pharmacy, Josh went to the school  by 5pm and studied all night as he missed his classes all day and was back in class the next morning.You can't really miss class in med school or you fall behind.

A D&C was the one thing I didn't want to do on this island. I would have flown home to have it done, but didn't have time. But all went well.... Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone home when I found out I was pregnant but I'm glad I didn't as I needed Josh and he needs me. I couldn't do it with out him. No he wasn't allowed at the hospital but it was so nice that I was able to see him after surgery and go home with him after. Yes he studies and spends insane hours at school but at least I get to see him for 2 hours per day and get to snuggle and talk to him each night, which has really helped... Through this experience I prayer almost continually, I know my Heavenly Father was near and watching over me and my family. Even though this was a hard exerpience and I had to have emergency surgery here in the Caribbean, I felt like it went pretty well consider what could of happened. I know we were be looked after.

 I'm tired and weak but other then that feel not too bad. I only felt week for the first few days and each day i feel less and less tired. I’m doing okay better then I thought I would. I still have my emotional moments but I’m quite at peace that it was suppose to happen for some reason I am unaware of. It is such a blessing knowing this isn't the end. I am grateful for the knowledge I do have and that one day I will get to reunite with my little one. Until then we will always be thinking of you and have a special place in our heart.

Someone I Love Was Born Into Heaven

"Someone I love was born into heaven", even though I never met our little one; my love for them is still stronger than ever. I am a mom of a angel.

On September 26th my life changed. I was 15 weeks pregnant. Life seems to be going well, other then I had small amount of spotting for two days. Other then that I felt fine with no cramping, so I wasn't to worried. I was able to see the OB GYN  that day, thanks to a doctor at Josh's university he  attends who had connections at the hospital. At my appointment hey did a ultrasound, baby was measuring 11 weeks and there was no heart beat...

You never think something like this will ever happen to you, but you just never know. It's hard when we don't see the big picture of things. I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. I'm sad one minute then some what okay with it the next. I know this is something Heavenly Father wanted, I don't understand why but I still miss my baby. Im glad to know one day I'll get to meet my little one... It's just hard when you have one plan in mind. Then all of a sudden things change. It's hard to change what you thought what was suppose to happen... and go on with life.

 I know I need to pull my self together and try to be strong for  my family. I still need to be a good wife and mom they deserve. We can get through this... So lately I've been giving longer cuddles at night to Lincoln and Lacey and I've been making sure that when I say 'Just a minute', it really is just one minute. I'm trying to enjoy every minute of life a little bit more. Trying to be a better mom and wife, they deserve my best. I want to be the mom and wife, I want them to remember. Being more patient, loving, caring, respectful. I need to help make life happy for them... I know over time I will feel more at peace with what has happened.

LDS Med. Familes

These are the six LDS med. familes from AUC. We do alot with these families.

1. Maxwell's- Josh, Megan and Maddie (1). The Maxwells are from Idaho. Megan is the singing time teacher in primary. Lincoln and Lacey both really like Megan.

2. Derr's - Nolan and Emily. They are from Utah. Emily and Nolan are Lacey's nursery teachers.

3. Adam's- David, Jessica, Quinn (4) and Jane (2). The Adams are from Utah. It's great having a family with kids that are the dame age as ours.

4. Quinton's- Arielle and Mitchell. Mitchell is from Cardston, small world and Arielle is from Flordia. They would like to settle down in Canada when they are doth with med school. Mitchell is the 2nd counsellor in the Branch presidency and Arielle is in young women's.

5. Barrett's- Taylor, NAtalie, Halle (4) and Dylan (10 months). The Barrett's are also from Utah.

6. Healy's- Joanna and Austin. Another Utah family.

Weekly Update: Block 1 Exams, ICM Clinical Rotations, Eternal Summer

It was block exam week so Josh was studying like crazy once again.  Josh's highlight in his week while being lost in his textbook was.... In one of the classes that he's taking this semester is ICM, with ICM the students get experience in the St Maarten Hospital. Josh had his first ICM- clinical rotations with a ped. specialist. Josh really enjoyed this experience. ( Josh and Zara at their rotations).

Block weeks are tough on everyone. Josh is stressed out. The kids really notice that they don't see Josh, so they are whinnier and more emotional when they realize that they don't get to see dad as much. Our days just feel longer as we try to stay busy. Less family time is the down fall f med. school. I miss Josh like crazy. But we survived again.... 

Back home we hear from family that it's starting to have a coolness in the air. First day of fall was celebrated in Canada this past week.... Coolness in the air sounds amazing right about now. On our little island we have a eternal summer, thats either hot or very hot. I've been trying to teach Lincoln season's and how Canada has four season but St Maarten only has one due to it's position on the earth... Here's what we were up to these days.

Each morning as we get ready before heading out the door, this is where you will find Lacey. In the bathroom putting on her makeup (my old eyeshadows).  It's so fun watching her.

Lincoln has just started showing interest in helping Lacey get ready. So he will help apply her makeup.

If you would pop by our house these days this might just be how you see Lacey. Nude! Clothes less! Yes I have cute clothes for her that I put on her every morning. But if Lacey had a choice she's choose nothing, if you ask her why she doesn't want clothes she'd say, "Hot"! It really is just too hot for clothes these days. While Canada is moving not fall, the Caribbean's hottest months are from August-October.

 ... And here's my island boy. He's almost clothes less. This is his favourite outfit while we are at home. Underwear! In this picture above Lincoln and Lacey are playing with the shopping cart our landlord provides for us to bring our groceries from our car through the complex to our house. It also makes a great toy for hours of entertainment.

 Lincoln and Lacey got a cold this week. It wasn't too bad other then they got a runny clear nose. Plus they were more tired then normal. Lincoln would nap for an hour and still go to bed at the same time. Where when he's feeling normal a 15 min nap would usually keep him up till 9-10pm rather the his normal 7:30 bed time.

We ended our week with spending our Saturday morning at the beach. I love when it's a perfect beach day and this past Saturday was. There were no waves and the water was crystal clear. This is what i will miss about living on this island, my beach time.

Preschool

Theres a bunch of moms on the island that out a little preschool morning for the kids on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 9-11.

Top left:Lindsay Sarver( Arizona)- Gabrielle, Eva

Top right: Natalie Barrett (Utah)- Halle

Bottom left: Camille Tidmarsh ( Alberta)- Liam

Bottom right: Christine Lin (Taiwan) - Abby

Here's a few thing they children have learn.

Skeleton puzzle, skeleton dance and q-tips skeleton craft! We had a great time learning about our bones and how to take care of them! Remember to eat healthy (milk, cheese and yogurt...etc) and wear helmet and knee pads when riding a bike! We reviewed the ”Dem Bones” song for bone facts!

Healthy snack -  learning about the Body as we move on to healthy eating and the things we can do to care for our bodies. We will talked about good foods that help our bodies grow, sort items into food groups, and use our fruit sorting pie to sort out and count items and form patterns.  We'll also practiced some "exercises": jumping jacks, stretches, pushups, sit-ups, etc. We'll also talk about the importance of naps and getting enough sleep so we don't get worn down.