I want to be a happier mom

Do you ever think about how you’ll be remembered? 

I'll admit I can be grumpy at times.  I'm far from perfect. I make mistakes. It can be hard at times, I get too busy, stressed out, and  overwhelmed.  I can't let life problems affect my mood. As my five year old daughter says "Life is what it is." I need to be more positive, enjoy life and make life happy. My kids need my best self as their mother. This is the only childhood my kid gets. I don't want to be remember as the grumpy mom. Is that the kind of mom I want to be? Nope! I want to be a happier mom. I want my children to remember a mom who smiles and enjoys life no matter what life throws at me.  I want them to see me take situations for what they are, and to make the best out of each moment. I want to live a joyful life.

 Some days are hard. But there is so much good in each day,  even the hard days. I need to focus more on the things I have been blessed with.

2 Years Ago Diagnosis Ultrasound

Two years ago at my 20 week ultrasound, was the day we received the diagnosis that our baby boy would be born with spina bifida. I remember feeling an awful combination of numb and terrified. I cried and doubted my capabilities. It's typical for parents to go through a grieving stage after their child is diagnosed, I certainly did. Looking back, I can say that the grief I experienced was a necessary part of my own acceptance process. I think I'm able to love my son better and fully appreciate all the wonderful things about him in part because I allowed myself to go through that time of sorrow and fear. 

It was hard to learn all of the complications that could happen with a child born with spina bifida. The doctors told us the hard cold facts, your kid is possibly going to have paralysis, clubfeet, loss of bladder and bowel control. It also can cause learning disabilities to mental retardation, and sometimes an enlarged or abnormal head size. 

It definately became much easier once we met Oliver. Our doctors didn’t tell us that we were going to love our child unconditionally like our other children. That we will experience joy being his parents and having him as a part of our family. That he’d have a smile that light up a whole room, be a social butterfly, have an amazing belly laugh and that he’d be the happiest little boy around.

I find myself documenting his life and learning that he was born perfectly made, despite the imperfections we once feared. Most importantly, I realized I was still a mom — and my children needed me to be the best mother I could be. I feel so blessed to have been trusted to the care of Oliver. He has changed our life and made it better in so many ways that I can’t imagine my life without him.

Discovering Parks

We like discovering new Lethbridge parks on our Sunday afternoons!

Back to School - After Degree Nursing Program

Josh has had the impression for the last while that he needs to go back to school so he can have a job that’s more dependable. Don’t get me wrong he loves construction and the last two years have been really good. But he’d like to have something little more dependable. So if down the road I need to slow down with the day home a bit to help Oliver more I can. This being said Josh' s going back to do the  nursing program. Since he already has a nuero science degree he can do the after degree nursing program.

Some times you don't understand why things happened the way they do but I feel like there is a reason that Josh did construction for 2 years. I now have my day home set up again and well established, which allows us to live of my income with out having to take more student loans out.

 I feel like over the years, I’ve learned life doesn’t go as we have it planned and that’s okay. Years ago I normally would stress over things not going how I thought they were suppose to go. I’m learn more each day that Heavenly Father is mindful of our family and he sees the big picture with what’s suppose to happen. It’s okay for life’s plan to change. Everything happens for a reason. I’ve learned to enjoy the unexpected adventures in life. Embrace change.

Lacey's 5th Party

We had such a fun family party for Lacey's 5th birthday. It was great to have all the Nana's & Papa's and Aunties & Uncles together to celebrate.

 Lacey loves pictures with photo props and had a lot of fun getting her picture taken with everyone.

Oliver Isn't Himself

I want my happy boy back so bad. Oliver hasn't been feeling good or himself for a while. Hoping to get some answers and help for him soon. 

Symptoms: Super irritable!  He's very restless, whiny and his appetite is off . He's just not himself. He cries even if I hold him. At night he cries/screams right when we lay him down. He shakes his head side to side. His speech has also regressed. Which really worries me..... yes I do feel like weather or pressure change and the smoke does affect him. But he has not been himself since before the smoke.

We feel like we exhausted all of our options here in Lethbridge to help Oliver. So we made a trip to the Alberta Children's Hospital ER. 2.5 hours drive to get to the hospital. It was suppose to be  30 minute wait but since our concerns are to do with Oliver's brain we got to wait right in. It was a long day of running tests. Blood and urine came back good.  

 Oliver got a fast head MRI. We were glad they did a fast head MRI and didn't have to sedate him. Nureosuregeon checked the MRI images. Ventricles look good, smaller than last MRI in January. 

So we really don't know what's wrong, as all the tests are all good. Which is awesome!!! But we also don't have an answer as to why Oliver hasn't been himself....The neurosurgeon did adjust the shunt to 1.5 so it drains more, to see if it still needs more drainage than he's getting. It's a waiting game, to see if the adjustment to the shunt helps or not but it's worth a try.

Happy 5th Birthday Lacey

One of my favourite sayings from Lacey is "life is about using all the colors"... Lacey is full of life. She's high energy. She loves to sing, be goofy, silly and make others laugh. She's a girly girl but isn't afraid to get dirty to have some fun. She's always up for an adventure and trying something new. She's independent, thoughtful and caring (especially to Her brothers). She's a girl who loves her snuggles. There's never a dull moment when Lacey's around. Happy 5th Birthday Lacey!!! I love you so much and love being your mom.

First Day Of School 2017

We are all feeling a bunch of mixed emotions. It is so hard for me to send them off to school! I love spending my days with my kiddos... It's hard watching them grow up. But I'm also so excited for all the adventures they will have with their amazing teachers. Lincoln and Lacey are both excited for this up coming school year! 

Grade 2 for Lincoln! He's teacher is Ms. Funk. Ms Funk isn't the teacher he wanted but I know he will do good with Ms Funk. Lincoln was pretty excited be go back to school.

Kindergarten for Lacey! Her teacher is Mrs DeJong. Same teacher Lincoln had for kindergarten, so she's pretty excited. Lacey was excited to start school but a bit nervous as this is her first school experience.

Park Hopping- Coadale Christian Park

We love checking out all the parks near us. This summer we were gone camping most weekends all summer so we didn't get to park hop as much as we would have like so that's our plans for the fall.

 Coadale Christian Park

 Parks will always be a challenge with Oliver. Josh and I try to let him explore the parks as much as possible but after a while, of trading on and off with Oliver, we are tired of hulling a 25 lb little boy up and down a park. Parks with swings are a life saver.

Lacey has learned how to do the  monkey bars!